Friday, July 20, 2012

For my daddy


I wrote this on father’s day for my father but never posted it.

2009 10 18_0805

My dearest Papa,

How ironic, that this father's day coincides with the exact day you left us five months ago. Just like you would've wanted us to do, we are trying to move on, but your absence is felt every single day. I miss your warm concerned voice, always wanting to know if we are okay. I miss your gift of words, your beautiful emails, always motivating us to be better, telling us always that we can be do whatever we set our eyes on. I miss knowing that I can always call your number and be sure that if no one else is picking up their phone, you definitely will. I will miss your presence in the house you were building for us, the house you kept talking about, the house you said we can always come to, our children can always come to. Never could've imagined that when this dream of yours will be fulfilled, you wont be around to enjoy it and to welcome us when we come to visit you in it.

I miss being received by you every time I reached Pakistan and most of all being seen off by you at the airport. I will never forget that sight of you standing there and waving at me long after we had said our goodbyes and I was in the queue to go inside the departures lounge. Till the last glance was possible, I could turn around and see your face through the crowd, waving at me from above the people, and your eyes, your eyes said it all even if you didn't say much. I will miss you asking me every time I'd come how long i was there for, and then when i told you, smiling and saying 'Nahin bas hum rukwa leinge aur, flight postpone kara leinge'. And trying to convince me to postpone my flight till the last day. I will miss those endless cups of tea we would have every time I was over. I will miss seeing you sitting with your laptop in your bed surrounded by all those files of yours. I will miss knowing you are always there, knowing that if anything doesn't turn out right, you are always going to be there for us. I will miss having you visit us, like you had planned to, but which never happened. I will miss all of that and so much more.

And most of all I will miss seeing you with Anya, seeing the relationship I know you would've had with her. For all of my life i will wish that you had more time with us, if for nothing else but to meet your grand daughter properly, to hug her to love her to play with her to enjoy her, to laugh and smile with her. I will miss her having a nana jan to talk to and to talk about. It will not be the same without you. Your quiet, steady presence in our lives will be missed every single day of our lives.

May you be blessed in that next life and may Allah taala reward you for the great presence you were in so many lives and for raising your daughters in the best possible way. Ameen. Don't worry about us because you taught us well Papa, you prepared us for this day. We will be strong, we will get through this. We will make sure our losses turn us into better human beings iA. Happy Fathers Day Daddy, We will meet again inshAllah! May Allah bless you!

Your own,
Taiya.

15 comments:

  1. Oh beautifully written. Heart felt made me cry .... every word is so true. Papa may you RIP . I just can't get those images out of my head, his smiles, his jokes, his reassuring presence. We are the luckiest girls to be his daughters.

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  2. Oh beautifully written. Heart felt made me cry .... every word is so true. Papa may you RIP . I just can't get those images out of my head, his smiles, his jokes, his reassuring presence. We are the luckiest girls to be his daughters.

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  3. Muhamma Riaz NaeemJuly 22, 2012 at 8:44 PM

    Very touching tribute from a daughter for his loving father. The last para is so special, this is the way he would have wanted his daughters to be. May Allah bless you all, always.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading Uncle and for taking the time out to write here. May Allah bless you all too for everything!

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  4. This is so touch and beautifully expressed. May your Father's soul rest in peace. Ameen

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  5. This made my heart melt, in the past year I have lost many people! But your pain has emerged on my line like I can feel the warmth of love of you for your daddy!

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    1. A loss changes you like nothing in the world does. You are not the same person ever. But in some ways you change for the better, because it makes you realize whats important and whats not! Thanks for always stopping by!

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  6. Very touching:') Hes at the best place up there in Jannah im sure and a very proud daddy. God bless you!

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  7. This is amazing. i lost my father 5 months ago,he was a pilot too, in paf.he was my best-est friend. I can totally understand your feelings as i am going through them too.I feel i have connections with your sayings.KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

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    1. So sorry to hear that Samana. May Allah bless your dad, you and your family. This is why I started writing about Papa and our loss. When you feel like you are alone in your loss, it helps to read about others that have gone through something similar. So glad you feel that. Losing a parent is insurmountable. Sending prayers your way. Hugs!

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  8. May ALLAH give your dad higher place in jannah ameen.

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  9. this made me cry; very touching and beautifully expressed... May His soul rest in peace. Ameen!!

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