Monday, October 22, 2012

Ramblings: We are our parents’ legacy

2012-10-20 025

As it gets closer to the end of the year, it also means it is nearing one year since the most devastating days, weeks and months of our lives. These days It is especially hard not to replay those images in our minds over and over and again. Those heartbreaking memories are still as fresh as the first day and many nights we still lie awake thinking of all that happened.

We can't help but start that countdown in our heads; Papa's last Eid with us, the last time we chatted on Skype, his last email to us, his last text, the last time we saw him well and healthy, his last day at his home.. It goes on and on.

And as we do that unconsciously, we are haunted by what those months brought. The things that happened, some too tragic to even talk to anyone about, because no words can explain what and why it happened. No words can describe the pain. It is still too very raw.

I guess we can never ever get past what happened. And that he is not with us anymore. I guess it will always haunt us. But slowly we are learning to live our lives again, slowly we are learning to even enjoy our lives again. Slowly we are learning to smile along with the tears. Slowly we are moving on, as they say.

Around this time last year, Papa had attended his very close friend's daughter's nikah. Around this time last year, we received Eid cards in papa's handwriting. Around this time my sister sent us pictures from last year's Eid. They were beautiful, and papa looked so fresh in them.

This time last year how unaware were we of the storm waiting at our doorstep.

This is real life. We humans are just dust, forever at the mercy of life's storms. We pretend to be many things, we pretend to know it all, we pretend to be able to deal with it all, but in truth we are nothing. Only puppets in Allah's hands forever dependent on Him. This is our reality.

What is in our hands though, is how we act through these storms, how patiently and bravely we endure, how well we fulfill our responsibilities through them or how bitter or cruel these storms in our lives make us. All this is in our control. And when these storms are over? It is in our control what we learn from them, and the people we become.

A friend of mine said the most beautiful thing in the months that followed since Papa's passing (Thank you Nafisa, if you are reading this. That phone call meant more than you will ever know). About how we are our parents legacy. They live through us, in the values they taught us, in the people we become as a result of what they taught us. In all that we pass on to our children. Even though we can never not need our parents, the truth is that we were lucky enough to spend many many beautiful years with papa, enough for him to be able to show us what he believed in, enough for him to pass on his values and the things he learned in life to us. Even though we will wish he had more time with us, we know we are lucky to have known him, to have been his daughters.

And how we live our lives today, without him, speaks more about him than anything else ever does.

Because every day, everything we do, has to reflect what we learned from our parents. We are a piece of our parents. And whether they are with us in this world or not, they live through us and in us!


picture taken by papa in ‘92

Thanks for being there in the good and the bad. Thanks for stopping by!


  1. Very very moving!
    Your dad must be a great person, but he's in a much better place now. At least you have those bright memories to cherish! :D

    1. He most definitely was and yes inshAllah. That is exctly what it is all about, making memories while we can:)

  2. Beautiful memories of our loved ones that we can hold on to. I loved the way our dad wrote this card ... nothing like it and you can still cherish it even though he's not with you in flesh and blood. May Allah bless him in the bestest of places in Jannah and may all his prayers for his family be accepted .. Ameen.

    I brought my mom's cook books with me when I was coming to London. I just wanted to have something of her with me all the time to cherish on.

    Eid Mubarak .. May you have a beautiful one :>

    ps: I changed my blog's link

    1. Ameen to your duas. Thanks for remembering him in them. I know what you mean. Its so strange how we hold on to these little pieces that connect us to our parents when we live far away. I find it very hard to part with even the littlest of things that connect to them! Hope you are well. Xoxo. Oh great, will just check out your blog!

  3. Awww, My dad has been a pro Photographer too, but now he's too old and too busy to do so, and me and my brother are all gaga over it to show him the pictures that we took as a single pic from 5000 hehe ;) But whenever I see his old pictures, I gotta say he HAS ALWAYS BEEN FAB! I love the pictures he took and by the way nothing's more cherishing than old pictures that make us remember the people we used to be and how was life back then; it's the best way to make people IMMORTAL, right Nataliya? :)

    1. Wow. That is where you got your love for photography! Exactly. I love how pictures can instantly take us back in time. And how they help us freeze little parts of our lives!

    2. yep =) I would love if I could be as good at clicking as my baba is, but no =( Imma not! Well, but I like to click at hte perfect times for the perfect times of tomorrow when we come to remember these days and then smile at how we used to be :)

  4. Your Dad is in a better place now...May his soul rest in peace.
    And don't be sad,You've more things and memories to cherish them.
    and wanted to say that;
    And your little adorable sweety Anya are the cutest girl in the whole world.
    Regards and love from;Aimal kayani.

    1. Ameen. life is full of happy and sad days! Thanks for stopping by!

  5. Love. =) May Allah bless you with a ton of happiness!

    1. Aw thanks so much Rabiya. It means a world! Much love


Let me know what you think. I would love to hear from you!