On faith and our journeys.

Religion or Faith are issues that strike such heavy cords in our conversations and relationships. Each one of us wherever we are in our journeys in faith or not, consider it the only way to be. And as we get stronger in our beliefs, we also get closer to being judgmental and intolerant of other people's beliefs. This world and the Muslim world specially, is ever increasingly facing problems due to intolerance. In these days, there is no perfect way to follow any religion. When millions of people from different cultures and backgrounds consider themselves a part of one religion, they will bring their own understanding to it and we have to be respectful of that.

My sister and I were just remembering how a decade earlier, she was the one between the two of us who had stronger ideas about faith. She was studying the the Quran with tafseer¹ and passionate about understanding it better. A couple of things which she believed were important in her practice of religion were things I considered not very important then and we both would discuss it but stand our own ground. Now years later as we are in our own places with our faith., the same point came up in a conversation. This time I was inclined towards what she used to believe in then and she was where I was at all those years ago! And as we talked about how a person and his faith changes, she said something to the likes of 'I have learned never to judge anyone. Our Imaan (faith), is not constant, it changes, our beliefs change’.

I kept thinking of her words later on too. We never know our journeys, our life/faith/beliefs/us as humans, nothing stays the same. The things we face in our lives make our faith stronger and sometimes even weaker. We might be the reason someone turns towards faith or we might be the reason someone turns away from it. We won't and shouldn't be in the same place ten years from now. Life is a journey, not a destination, and so are our beliefs. We should make an effort towards learning and understanding more than anything, and if we’re not becoming a better person in our journey of faith, there is something lacking. I find it so interesting how Allah time and again mentions in the Quran how He dislikes arrogance and yet we notice it around us and in ourselves as we think we are becoming more ‘religious’. Lets try to pass on the good that we know and learn, but lets try not to judge, try not to think ourselves better than the other person. Who knows what journeys in faith are in store for us in the years to come.

Just some thoughts I wanted to share. Thanks for reading, lots of love.

Photo above by my sister Waliya Najib.

---

FYI

¹Tafseer is a detailed commentary of the Quran. Many scholars have written their own detailed accounts. One favorite is by Muhammad Asad.

What lies within us

One of my favorite quotes is this one by Ralph Waldo Emerson, 'What lies behind us and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us'. We live in a world that places immense importance on outer appearances. We evaluate people by their outsides, by their jobs and their achievements, by the schools their children go to and their afterschool activities, by the clothes they wear and the brands they flaunt, by their homes and the areas they live in, and the list goes on and on. Good people lose their value and the strength of our characters loses its worth, because what we own, the image of ourselves that we show to the world, matters so much more.

When in fact, that is what we need to focus on, instead of striving for the next thing on our list, we need to spend at least as much time on our insides, on being better every single day, on learning from our mistakes, owning up our faults, and just improving our insides. The fact that none of this matters once we die, our worldly things and statuses. None of it. The only thing that will matter will be the kind of people we were. Not saying that our things and our achievements don’t mean anything, of course we all want a comfortable life but the problem is this never ending race that always shows us there is more to buy and more to achieve. It is just never ending. There is more to us than just our things and our achievements.

As Muslims also sometimes we are so focused on showing others how religious we are, on focusing on rituals and yet forgetting the core of our faith, which is to purify our hearts, to becoming better human beings, to learn from our mistakes and correcting them. Yet we are witnesses of the lies/corruption/fraud/injustice that happens in our own 'Muslim' country. I'll only talk of Pakistan as that is what I know. And this when our religion teaches us that Allah does not look at our outsides but at our heart and our intentions. That in front of Him we are all equal and only better than each other by our deeds.

As a start, let's look at ourselves past all the layers we show to the world, what our values are, what we believe in, what we've learned in life, the mistakes we’ve made. Let’s ask ourselves if we live our lives in a way that projects these values. And then everyday wake up with the promise to be better, better than your own self. Better than who you were yesterday. And make this your life long quest. As parents, each one of us has the added responsibility to give GOOD kids that will grow up to be GOOD adults, to the world. Let's give, if not more, as much importance to our kids insides as we give to their achievements.

Thanks for reading. Lots of love

Our Backyard Eid Dinner

Except for a few pictures in the beginning, most of these taken by the amazing photographer and my good friend, Sumera Naveed.

Here is a picture story of our simple celebration for Eid. It was the perfect example of everything going wrong initially but ending up just right. I ended up with just some simple crepe paper strings, flowers and candles in jars for the decor. The food was ordered at a local restaurant and I laid out some simple snacks on the side to nibble on. A friend brought the yummy cake along with the candles and the kids loved blowing them out together. Our Eid gift tradition for kids continued and has grown so much. The gift corner was literally overflowing and one of the best parts was watching the kids open those gifts.

I have always been unsure of hosting anything for Eid, because I worry about getting so caught up in the preparations that we end up not enjoying it for our kids. But I’m so glad we did it, because it was so totally worth it. Watching our kids and their excitement, the chatter of our friends all dressed up and enjoying each other’s company and just spending the day together, it is what it’s all about. If you haven’t already check out my earlier post on celebrating Eid when you have kids

And only in America can your friends be such sweet guests. As it got dark, our friends helped clear up everything, including loading the rented furniture in our car:p, and sooner than I thought was possible, the backyard was clear. The joys of American Eid, I tell you! Sigh :)

Thanks for reading. And promise this is my last Eid related post. Lots of love.

IN PICTURES–Ramadan in July via Instagram

Hey lovelies, hope your Eid was amazing. Dropping by to share glimpses of July as it comes to an end. Since most of the pictures I took from my camera were of food, I know:p, here is the Instagram version for this month instead. Enjoy!

The mosque got festive as Ramadan began. Loved the odd evenings before Iftar² when the husband was taking a nap and Anya was down for the night. Peaceful bliss as I read my Quran³.

Enjoyed these Ramadan/Eid¹ books for kids from the library. Here are the links 1, 2, 3

Seattle summer kicked off with some hot hot days as the month began and then some not so warm ones like one morning of 4th of July crafting at Gymboree’s Play and Music.  

It was hard to get through the 18+ hour long fasting days at home. And many a cooking sessions at her new play kitchen (Her gift for finally going diaper-free:p) kept us occupied as did walks around the neighborhood when the day just wouldn’t end. Every night ended with some chai with the hubby after Anya went to bed.

Decorated up the house a little for Ramadan with our advent calendar which was updated every five days or so:p. Baked cookies every Friday evening with my little girl, to take to our sweet friends hosting our tradition of Potluck iftars².

As the heart ached for the oppression happening a world across, we stood for all the lives lost.

There is something about Ramadan. Despite the lack of energy, the hunger and the thirst, it brings you closer to the deepest parts of yourself. It makes way for self reflection, for compassion, for empathy, for a desire to be a better person. And its beautiful. For the past couple of years, amid the excitement of Eid, I find the faintest sadness for the end of another Ramadan¹. Why does praying, empathy, kindness, every little good deed become so much easier in Ramadan¹ and then harder as you get used to your old life?

As Ramadan¹ ends, lets all try to continue the good habits we started. Lets change even one small thing about ourselves or our lives for the better. Lets not let the good we earned go in vain.

How was your Ramadan?

Thanks for stopping by and lots of love.

---

FYI

¹Ramadan in Arabic is the month of fasting. Muslims all around the world abstain from food etc from dawn to dusk. It is a month of spiritual awareness, compassion and kindness and ends with the celebration of Eid ul Fitr.

²Iftar is the meal Muslims eat to open their fast at sunset. Different cultures have different traditions to open their fast but most consist of dates and water and then traditional meals.

³Quran is the Islamic sacred book, the word of God as dictated to Muhammad by the archangel Gabriel and written down in Arabic.