Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Best of both worlds.


My husband and I come from families with very similar values on the important things but in some ways very different family lifestyles. Even though, we were both born and raised in Pakistan, on some levels we grew up in complete different cultures. In some ways the adjustment becomes a little harder if you let it but after spending time with each others' families, we have seen the beauty that exists in how things work at each home. And we have grown to love and respect both ways of life.

One usually thinks of difference as a bad thing. In our relationships, we look for similarities and think we bond more with those that are our type. I have always believed the same, that it is easier for us to relate to those that are more like us and as a result we bond better with them. But lately I am realizing that we have so much to learn from each other, and what we think of as difference, is just another chance for us to learn from each other. No one way is the best way and being around people a little different from us shows that to us.

For instance,I would love our home to be a place of open discussions on religion/politics/history, the way I have seen at my husband’s parents’ home, and I would love it to be a place where love is showered and expressed frequently like at my parents’ home. I would love it to be a place where faith plays such a big part in your daily routine the way I see my mother-in-law doing and I would love it to be a place where traditions and celebrations are important and making time for your family is the biggest priority like I have learned from my mom.  

Each family has strengths of its own that it takes pride in, and we get married we bring a subset of these values to our own homes. If we each brought the best of our parents' homes into our own homes, wouldn't our houses be so much richer? It is also a way to continue their legacy and to give our kids more respect for their loved ones and to give them the best of two worlds.

What pieces of life at your and your husband’s parents’ homes would you love to bring into your own home?


  1. Of course, that would be the ideal situation. Embrace the best of your husband's home and bring the best of your own home. But, for that to happen, it also depends on your husband's family especially if you live with your in laws. Unfortunately, most of the time, what has been done in your new home is the "right way" and what you want to do is not accepted.

    1. Of course, i have no experience of living in a joint family system and can only assume all the ways in which that must be a challenging situation. I feel for you and hope you're able to pass onto your kids the best of your families. Stay strong and know that it comes with its own advantages and that no situation lasts forever. Much love.


Let me know what you think. I would love to hear from you!