Friday, June 21, 2013
Baby, I will love you for who you are.
Kelle Hampton wrote this a few days ago, ‘I've learned a lot this year about letting my kid be exactly who she is. No more "don't be shy"s. Just "be you." And if shy is you, then be gloriously, wonderfully shy. And I will love you. Your shyness, your hesitancy, your intently focused little face. I will love you for who you are.’ And it reminded me of my daughter. I see this in my daughter a lot as we go out and interact more with the world. My baby has such a bold personality at home, loves people, loves talking and being the center of attention. But outside sometimes, in new situations, or in social interactions with unfamiliar people, she acts completely different. She will cling to me, whine constantly and be just completely moody.
And usually I let her be. I’ll say Hi for her instead, and just try to include her but respect how she feels. Because my husband is quite a bit of an introvert, just recently when I see her personality transforming as soon as we are around people, I see him in her. And I’m okay with that. Of course, she is a piece of both of us, she will take things from both of us. Being shy and quiet and taking your time with people is not a bad thing at all. In fact it might be a good thing even.
But as moms, we are inherently competitive, noticing what our kids are doing/not doing compared to others around them. And that can make us push our kids sometimes, to be what they truly are not, to give them the message that they need to be a particular way to be accepted. Recently I have noticed myself doing exactly that sometimes, mostly because I feel that this world is kinder to those that are able to express themselves more around people, and of course as a mom I would want my daughter to be accepted and loved. But reading what Kelle Hampton wrote above, reinforced what my heart had been telling me.
It is perfectly okay for our babies to be who they are. Its perfectly okay for you to be shy, my baby girl.
I will keep encouraging her to be polite and smile and reach out for people but I will accept what comes naturally to her. I will let her be. I will accept the way she is and just love her for that. Because whoever she is, she is beautiful. She is my baby. And I want her to know that, always!
Pictures from an evening in Fatima Jinnah Park in Islamabad, Pakistan in November 2012. Of course taken by my fabulous sister, Waliya.
Thanks for reading and for stopping by!